30 Ways to Annoy Tom Kaulitz

1. Call him a perv in any way, shape, or form in every sentence you say.
2. Ask if he’s Jamaican.
3. Whenever an advertisement for any feminine product comes on the TV, turn the volume all the way up and stare at him with wide, fascinated eyes.
4. Loudly tell anyone who happens to walk by that Kelly Clarkson is his personal hero.
5. Smack him upside the head every time he tries to flirt with someone and say “Bad Tom! Bad!”
6. Give away his every location to his fans.
7. Snip off a lock of his hair, set it on the floor, light candles all around it, and dance around the whole mess in some sort of cannibalistic ritual.
8. Steal all his hats and mail them to Peru.
9. In the middle of a concert run up to him and yell: “How can you perform when we’re destroying the Ozone layer?”
10. When he’s watching TV place a spinney office chair in his direct line of vision and start spinning around like a mad person yelling “I’m not wearing pants tooooooooday!!!!”
11. Cower in fear every time he says the word ‘something’.
12. Constantly remind him that Bill is the boss.
13. Wake him up at five AM singing the most annoying song you know.
14. Duct tape his bedroom door shut so he can’t escape.
15. Call him a racist dolphin.
16. Ask him tearfully why the kids just won’t give that poor rabbit his cereal.
17. Paint his nails bright pink while he sleeps and hide the nail polish remover.
18. Come up with 30 ways to annoy him.
19. Put shaving cream on his hand when he sleeps and tickle his nose with a feather.
20. Put a cow in his room and wait for the surprise!
21. Place a very scary looking porcelain doll at the edge of his bed while he sleeps. Tape a ketchup smothered butcher knife in its hand.
22. Sing “Follow Me” by Uncle Kracker nonstop until it gets stuck in his head.
23. Sell his virginity on eBay.
24. Tell him you need a sacrifice and that he’s the only one available at the moment.
25. Poke him. Just poke him nonstop until it drives him mad.
26. Dress up as Harry Potter and follow him around all day shouting random incantations.
27. Write him a very sappy love letter and sign it with Gustav’s name.
28. ‘Accidentally’ break his most favorite guitar.
29. Babble nonstop about how MySpace is the downfall of society.
30. Make him help you compose evil plans of taking over the world.